This is going to be a different type of post – not one you will typically find from me. However, lots of things have been happening recently, and thoughts have been circling my mind, and I find that if I am ever going to post on a topic such as this, this is a good time to do so. Also, here comes my cheese warning – I will try my best to avoid cheesy statements, but sometimes they are simply unavoidable. That being said…
The Lord’s faithfulness. That is what has been on my mind this week and last. You see, working as a substitute teacher during the day and at Gap during the night has proven to be taxing in many ways – physically, emotionally, time-wise. I have less free time, which means less time with my family, friends, and boyfriend. Less time doing the things that help me relax and enjoy life. I am on my feet all day, and when combined with early mornings, an achy, tired body is inevitable. Situations during the work day can be stressful and unavoidable. I am learning how to view my current situation as a phase of life, a season if you will, and as a blessing. Thinking of it in this way has been somewhat of a challenge. I constantly remind myself that the Lord has given me two great jobs and thus financial stability.
The stress of it all really wears on me though. Those of you that know me well know that I tend to overwork myself, take on far too much, and get stressed out. Since I have learned this about myself, I know what my limits are and what I need to do to take care of myself. Sometimes it’s not enough though.
Here is what the Lord has been teaching me, boiled down to a few simple points.
1. I am not in control, no matter how much I wish I were.
2. Only He is in control.
3. If He loves me so much that He gave His only son’s life for me, then why do I always think that He can’t provide rest and energy when I need it?
4. When I surrender all, He gives me SO MUCH MORE than I could ever dream.
A few specific examples:
*Today when I subbed, the teacher came back for the last 15 minutes of the school day. We got to talking, and he ended up asking me to sub for quite a few more days for him. Personal connections when trying to find sub jobs are a MUST.
*A few weeks ago when I subbed in a school, I wrote a test for a teacher. One thing led to another, and the next thing I know, all the 5th grade teachers are requesting me (now along with other teachers in the building who have heard about me).
*Just when I think that my hard work and dedication is not paying off, or no one is noticing how hard I work, my managers offer encouraging words to get me through the work night.
*There are so many other little things that I look at and think, “Wow, that was amazing.” Things that I would never be able to control.
I want to be very clear who the glory goes to – solely to the merciful and loving Lord Almighty. So many times have I been surprised at how, after asking Him, my emotions, thoughts, and even my physical state improve. He is always faithful, even when we are not faithful (I always forget which Bible verse that is).
I leave you with a few pictures that remind me of His faithfulness and peace.
PS The wedding is this weekend… pics are soon to follow!